The Loss Mother's Stone

 “She must be running out of room,” Sam was told, after she realized she had not felt her unborn baby Alana kick in a while. She was told to drink something sugary and count the kicks over the next hour and come in if she felt any fewer than 10. She felt 4, maybe, and panic set in. Rushing to the car, she burst into tears thinking her greatest fear was about to come true: an emergency C-section. The reality turned out to be far worse. By the time Sam arrived at the hospital, there was no heartbeat. But the nightmare wasn’t over; Sam needed to give birth to her still daughter. Alana came out, quietly, with a beautiful head of thick black hair like her father. Sam began to wonder if maybe the doctors had gotten it all wrong and Alana would cry out at any moment, but the cry never came.

One out of every 170 pregnancies in the United States ends in stillbirth. While not every stillbirth is preventable, studies have shown that at least 25% of those in the United States are. Sam agonized about what she could have done to protect herself and her daughter against a risk she didn’t even know existed.

Life must go on, however, and many women have found ways to cope and come back to the world, in some way or another, in their own time. Trauma and grief are not linear and the healing process is unique to every person and experience. In this project, I aim to honor these women and their experiences, remember their lost children, and elevate their stories of resilience and courage. I do this in the style of diptychs, pairing a portrait of each mother with that of a detail significant or symbolic to their journey. Together these will visually paint a picture of strength and perseverance.

We cannot look away. By drawing awareness to these stories and paths taken in the journey of healing after trauma, the goal is to educate not just those going through pregnancy but the general public, friends, doctors, public officials and specialists to change the outcome for as many expectant mothers and families as possible and to hopefully play a role in reducing bias in care and infant mortality.

If you are a loss mom and want to learn more about this project or get involved, please reach out to Nancy at nb@nancyborowick.com